V課堂·雅思寫作｜這些常犯錯誤應該怎麼改？

寫作一直是中國考生和雅思分手的攔路虎

它的評分維度是以下4項：

●寫作任務迴應情況

●連貫與銜接

●詞彙豐富程度

●語法多樣性及準確性

其中“語法多樣性和準確性”對於得分的影響

我們已經探討過

戳 V課堂·雅思寫作|為什麼你的作文總是卡在6。5分？複習

今天就從“詞彙豐富程度”的角度

來看一下考鴨的

常犯錯誤和改正思路

關鍵詞重複

試看以下句子

Lying can never have a good outcome。 Lying to someone sets them up for failure。 Many times we tell lies to protect people’s feelings and save ourselves from telling uncomfortable truths。 For instance， we might lie about someone’s talent， looks， dress-sense or abilities。 We do this so not to offend them and we think that it‘s harmless。 But in fact， our lies are actually feeding into their delusions and possibly causing them trouble later in life。

大家發現沒有？

雖然這段話很切題且語法沒毛病

但從“詞彙豐富度”來看

關鍵詞“lying“、”lie“重複了太多次

非常單調乏味

最終得分就這樣被拉下來

因此，我們要注意：

use synonyms where possible

使用同義詞來避免詞彙重複

擴大文章的詞彙豐富度

比如：

lying → deceiving someone

lie （as a verb） → distort the truth

lies （plural noun） → fabrications

以上段落可以改成：

Lying can never have a good outcome。 Deceiving someone to someone sets them up for failure Many times we tell lies to protect people’s feelings and save ourselves from telling uncomfortable truths。 For instance， we might distort the truth about someone’s talent looks dress-sense or abilities。 We do this so not to offend them and we think that it‘s harmless， But in fact， our fabrications are actually feeding into their delusions and possibly causing them trouble later in life。

同義詞使用不準確

試看以下句子：

Schools need to be more conscious of the types of food that they serve to childrenbecause obesity is a major health issue。 Infants are becoming increasingly obese at an alarming rate。

Kindergartens could perhaps utilize chefs to make healthier nourishments。 If collegesserved better solids then teenagers would be less likely to become obese。

schools、kindergartens、colleges

都是教育機構

但其所指不同

food、nourishment、solids

雖然在某種程度上是同義詞

這裡的用法也很不精確

children 、infants、teenagers

都是年齡較小的孩子

但具體意思也不同

很多考生都會犯這樣的錯誤：

力求避免重複單詞

於是不顧準確度亂用同義詞

需知過猶不及

這裡要告訴大家的是：

①一些詞就是沒有可以直接替換的同義詞

some words have no direct synonym

這時候不要強求

你可以使用代詞：

●保留“schools”；

為了避免重複

下文使用代詞 “they” 指代；

用“school canteens” 比“colleges”更精確

● 保留“food”；

用 “types of food”、“food options”

“more varied options ”避免單調

②沒有同義詞可以用的話

你不妨改寫句子

if no direct synonym rewrite the sentence

比如：

●用更具體的“students”換掉“children”

● 用片語 “to put on weight”代替“obese”

Schools need to be more conscious of the types of food that they serve to children because obesity is a major health issue。 They could perhaps utilize chefs to make healthier food options for their students。 If school canteens served more varied options then the children would be less likely to put on weight。

詞彙太單調

這是很多考鴨不能得高分的原因之一

其實大家可以嘗試用一些“uncommon”的表達

注意：這些表達不要用太多！也不要跑題！

只有當它們是恰如其分的時候才可以用！

以這段話為例

你可以使用的片語詞彙有：

dietary patterns，

sedentary lifestyles

health epidemic，

combat obesity

prevention……

Childhood obesity is a persistent health issue that can be partly attributed to the ways in which schools cater to their students。 It is well know that cafeteria menus areseldom healthy and more often than not contain food items that are high in saturated fats and sugars。 If schools were to overhaul their menus in favour of less calorie dense foods， there would no doubt be a decrease in the number of young people suffering from overweight issues。

這段改寫中

避免了單詞重複

同義表達也很準確

片語詞彙很出彩，且和主題切實相關